Never Easy Only Worth It

(Josh took this picture of us last night, and I thought it was really cute. Ethan really looks little next to Tigger!)

I have learned more about myself in the past couple of weeks, that I never knew. A lot has gone on with our family. Life is so crazy, and it doesn't seem to be slowing down. One of my favorite quotes is " A women never knows how strong she is, until she is in hot water." It is so true. I have had to be really strong lately. It hasn't been very easy, but some how I have found a way. It all started with my Grandpa pass away. He was 90 years old. Thanks to my wonderful husband my mom and I were able to go to his funeral. It was very sad. When someone you know dies it sure put life into place. As soon as we got home from that, Josh and found out that we are not going to be moving. We got the call Friday night. It was like we both were hit by a truck. We had been in limbo for so long, and now it wasn't even going to be happing. We love living here, and were very sad to be leaving our best friends behind. But one of the REALLY big reasons we were moving was so Josh could stop traveling. So when we found out that we were not moving anymore it was really hard. Josh and I as well as of the kids were so tired of the traveling. It took me about 24 hours to get my head around it. It took Josh a little longer. My mom told me when I told her that "Sarah, their is a reason you guys are meant to stay here. We may never know but this is what was meant to happen." At first that was not really what I wanted to hear. Though now I know that we need to stay here. Things have been happing in our lives that let have me know that right now we need to be here. The day we found out I got down on my knees and asked Heavenly Father to give me the strangh to do what I need to do.

Well last week he tested my faith. Josh had to be gone all week. Ethan, Sadie, and Lily all had doctor appt. Ethan had his swallow study, which came back great. We were all very happy about that. Though he is still really having a hard time gaining weight. So we are going to another specialist. He is about a week away from being 8 months old and he only weights 14 pounds. So we have that all going on. Sadie had to go see the E.N.T. about her ear. She had a really bad ear infection. She has tubes in her ears, but they wanted the E.N.T. that put them in to see her. Everything is fine with her. We just need to put these drops in her ear every night for a month. And Lily well she is having a really hard time sleeping as well as her knees are bother her really bad. So we went to the doctor and they did the JRR test on her again. And a again it came up not that. Which we were really happy about that. They are having us do these stretches with her. So far we having noticed anything, but time, time time. So I had all those doctor appt. at the beginning of the week, so my mom came up to help, and be with us. Tuesday night she wasn't feeling very well. I asked her if she wanted me to take her in and she said no. The next day was Wednesday. I had to take Lily to her appt, in the morning. When I got home my mom didn't look good. Very quickly I took my kids to friends so I could take my mom to the Emergency Room. (Thank you guys again! I don't know what I would have done with out you.) So we got there and hit the ER running. They took her right back, because they thought that she was having a heart attack. I have never been so scared in my life. I know that the day will come when I will have to say good bye to my mom for awhile, but I was NOT ready to do that yet. I just sat there and watch all the doctors, and nursers do what they had to do. All I kept thinking was Heavenly Father NOT YET!!! I believe that I am a pretty strong person, but at that moment I was not. I went and tried really hard to get hold of Josh. I couldn't get him on the phone. I just sat outside in the hallway and cried. I call all my brothers and sister and let them all know. One of my best friends came and held my hand. (Thank you SO much Cindy!) When things like this happen it always happen so fast, you don't even have time to catch your breath. The doctors ran a TONS of test. She didn't have a heart attack, though she has a really big blood clot in her leg, and her heart skips beats. They keep her in the hospital over night. (Thank you again Cindy for taking the kids.) I stayed the night with her. Neither of us got much sleep. They kept coming in and doing things. They let her go home on Thursday to my house. She had to stay with us until Saturday. The doctors told her that as long as her blood work looked good on Saturday then she could go back home to her house. Thursday I went and got the kids and just tried my best to get through the day with only 3 hours of sleep. That night I layed down and finally took a deep breath, and not but 5 mins later Sadie came in with a temp of 104. That is all she had, but it was a long night. By 7 in the morning on Friday, Ethan was up with a temp too. I wanted so bad to just sit down and quit. I sat in my bathroom on the floor and just thought WHY? Why was this all happing at the same time. I sat there in my bathroom and just cried. I was barely hanging on. I stood up and said "Sarah, you have too keep going. NEVER GIVE UP!!!" And that is what I did. Josh was coming home later that day. The next day my mom got the ok from the doctors to go home, and the kids were feeling better. After getting my mom out the door, I looked at Josh and said "I am living and I don't know when I am going to be back." He just looked at me and said "Ok"

I went and just shopped and looked at stuff. It was fun and nice to not have anyone need me at that moment. I love being a daughter, wife, and mother, but there are time that I need a moment where no one needs me. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for helping me get through all that. I don't know why I had too go through it all, or better yet why I have to go through anything I do. There is alot of time I feel very much dumped on. I was talking to one my friends and I asked "Why is it that there is always something happening?" I know what I go through is nothing to what other people have to go through. And for that I am thankful I guess.

I am so thankful for my wonderful husband, and great kids. They are what keeps me going. I love them all so much. I am very thankful for my mother. She is my best friend, and the strongest person I know. I see everything she has had to go through and I know that I can keep going. She is my rock, and I can't live without her. Josh I love you with all my heart! I know that it is hard because you aren't always here, but I know that you would do anything for us! Josh you are my best friend, and I couldn't live life without you.

So that is what the Brummett have been up too. CRAZY, CRAZY! One of these days I will have nothing crazy to talk about. That day will be great! Until then, I guess we will all just NEVER GIVE UP!!!!