Cry

Sometimes it just seems easier to cry. We have lived here for almost a month now and things just don't seem to be slowing down. Josh has been so crazy at work. He leaves early and gets home late! It has been hard on us all, but we are hopeful that it will end soon. We got the house unpacked. That has been really! We still have boxes in the garage but I need a break from boxes. We went on a family trip with Josh's side of the family! It was a lot of fun just a little hot. We all decided that the Brummett family reunions are not going to happen anymore in the heat of the summer. I have some great pictures from the trip I will try to put them on the blog soon. When we got back from the trip Ethan just didn't seem himself, and sure enough he has croup. Now tell me something how does my son get croup in the middle of the summer. It has been 105 outside. It is crazy! So he hasn't been his happy self!
Two days before the kids, animals, and I all got down here Josh was in the hospital with another kidney stone. They looked at it and said that it was small enough to pass. So he came home! Since then he has had attacks of pain every now and then. The kids and I left last Thursday for the family trip and Josh was going to come up Friday night. At our camp site we didn't have cell service so Josh was not able to talk to us. Well Thursday night Josh took himself to the ER because he was in so much pain again. I had no idea. Jennette was the only one Josh could get on the phone. As soon as she got to camp she told me what had happen. I packed everything back in the car and Ethan, Sadie, and I rushed home. Grandma and Grandpa kept Lily and Emma. (Thank you again so much.) Josh still hadn't passed the stone. It was in the same place as it was 3 weeks ago. They gave him some pain medicine and told him it will hopefully pass soon. So Josh decided that he at least wanted to spend a little time up at the family reunion so we packed ourselves back up and went and tried to enjoy the rest of the weekend.
We got home Sunday morning. Things seemed fine. On Monday around 7 Josh started to get the pain back, and this time it was REALLY bad. He was up all night trying to get through it. I took him to the doctor this afternoon. We had to see our primary care doctor first then we could see the specialist. So we did! He said that the would call us tomorrow and let us know when our appointment was. Well around 4:30 things came crashing down on us. The doctor called back and said that pretty much Josh's kidney had started to fail on him. The stone was stuck, and blocking so things were getting backed up in his kidney. It was like someone knocked the air out of me. Josh is always so strong out of the both of us, and for once it was going to have to be me.
Julie and I had planned to drive and meet tomorrow. She was coming to get Lily and Emma to surprise Lexi for her birthday. The girls were so excited! So I called Julie really quick and asked if we could meet tonight. She even was willing to take Sadie for me. (I really can't thank you guys enough! We love you!!! THANK YOU!!!!) The rest of the night was CRAZY! I was on and off the phone with doctor offices/hospitals all while I was trying to get the girls packed to go. I pretty much just told the girls to pack themselves. (So Julie I am sorry if they look a little crazy. I have no idea what they packed.) I got Josh settled and throw the kids in the car and left.
Tomorrow we will find out more with what they want to do. I have held myself together pretty good. Though as soon as I got home from taking the girls, I feel apart. I just sat down and cried.
I love Josh more then anything in this world. He is my best friend! He is a wonderful father! It has been so hard to see him go through all of this. I know that we are given trials to strengthen us, but really WE ARE DONE. Josh and I both feel like as soon as we get up on our feet, something is there to knock us down again. I am hopeful that we will get through this, but right now all I can do is just cry.
I love you Josh!