Life........

We are still around! Life has been crazy like always. Sometimes I think "Wow I wonder when is it ever going to slow down." Really for the most part I really enjoy staying busy/crazy. I know I am weird. :)

Thanksgiving was good we stayed home and had a nice day with really close friends! Emma's birthday came quickly next. She is now 7 going on 35! (Yep I have a 7 year old daughter!) Next came Christmas.....We had a great Christmas. We stayed at home for the day played with our new toys, visited family then went to bed early. The next day at 3am we put the sleeping kids in the car and drove THE WHOLE WAY to my mom's in Montana! It was a long 13 1/2 hour drive but really everyone did very well. We stayed at Grandma's for a wonderful/very cold week. Then coming home Josh and I decided to do it in 2 days. So half way we stopped and stayed the night with my brother and his wife. It was new years eve and the kids and us had a great time ringing in the new year with family. The next day we went to see my wonderful sister, then got back on the road and came home.

So in short we have had a good holiday season. Busy but good!

For everyone who doesn't know I have a job! I started in Sept and LOVE doing it! I teach dance everyday of the week but thurs and enjoy every bit. Between the girls and I, we are always at the dance studio. I teach Ballet and have a wide range of ages as students. Teaching dance has helped me get through the really hard days with Ethan. I go too the studio and as soon as I walk through the door I make myself leave everything behind. It just all about dance. So everyday during the week I take a little brake from all worrying and stressing and just breath. :) I am so thankful for my students and the director of the studio Karen. I love them all!!!

So here we are in the first of January and our little family is still around. Ethan's struggles continue. Things started to look like they might be going our way then the floor was pulled from under us. Everything came to a crashing last week. I feel like we are trying to climb a mountain that doesn't have a top. I look at my sweet boy and all I want is to take it all away, and I CAN'T! I just have to put my sons life in someone else hands that doesn't know him. Doesn't know all the things he has to offer. Doesn't see that smile that can light up a room. Doesn't know how much he is REALLY loved. Someone that only knows of him as a number on a computer screen. Ethan has a wonderful doctor, but it isn't the doctor that isn't making things happen it is our insurance company and now the pharmaceutical company's. When did they start making all the decisions and not the doctors that know and have gone to school. It makes me so mad when I really start to think about it.

Josh and I were talking about the movie John Q. I told Josh that I now can say that I totally understand why the dad in that movie did what he did. When someone tells you no or give us money first, or he is number 500 on the list so wait. To us Ethan's isn't number. He isn't just another kid that needs medicine. He is OUR son! My sweet baby boy that I fought so hard to get here! He is our son who LOVES to be held and cuddle! He is our ETHAN!!! To us he is priceless...............

(I will post pictures soon the holidays)